The chances are you will have learnt quite a bit about your date from their profile and from chatting to them online so when it comes to the first date you may worry that you won’t have much more to talk about. Although it is good to talk about yourself, the first date is also a time to get to know your date and the way most people do this is by asking questions. You don’t want to bombard your date with loads of questions as though it is an interview or inquisition but it is good to have one or two to fall back on if the conversation dries up.
1. On your profile you said …..
Before you get to your first date you will have learnt quite a lot of factual information from your date’s profile and any online communication you have had. The date is the time to begin getting to know the real person rather than just information about them – to hear them talk about the things they are passionate about and the people that are important to them. Follow up on the things that initially attracted you to them and ask them to tell you more – it will show you are interested if you remember key points about them.
2. Has any book or film had a big influence on you?
Questions like this are good because they have universal appeal – everyone has books and films that have influenced them and you will have your own experience to share. Talking about personal tastes reveals things about personal beliefs but they are easier to talk about in general terms.
3. If you could have any job in the world what would it be?
This is a great question because it allows the focus of the conversation to be on your dreams and an aspiration which makes people feel good. You will get a chance to see what your date’s drive and motivation for work is – money, status or service – and this will tell you a lot about them as a person and whether your values might be compatible.
4. Where do you feel most relaxed?
Knowing how someone relaxes will go a long way towards revealing what other interests they might have that aren’t revealed on their profile and whether they are a high or low energy person.
5. What personal accomplishment are you most proud of?
On a first date you want to keep the conversation light and asking questions about someone’s past can sometimes lead to them revealing all sorts of unhappy or painful things especially with regard to past relationships. Frame questions about the past with a positive spin. There will be time for deep, meaningful revelations later on.
6. Which three people would you invite to a dinner party and why?
These people can be alive or dead and from any period of history. It is a great topic of conversation because it leads down lots of different avenues. Remember if you ask the question you should be prepared to answer it yourself.
7. If there was one animal you could save what animal would it be?
This question reveals something about the person’s nature. Many people love animals and this is an unexpected way to get into a conversation about what their favourite animal is as well as deeper environmental issues if they are important to you.
8. What is an attractive quality about you that people don’t immediately see?
This is a good question for someone who hasn’t been very forthcoming about themselves and could be a shy or lacking in confidence in the dating environment. It is a gentle way of getting them to talk about themselves.
9. What is one thing about you that might surprise me?
It could that a big burly bloke can make a rose out of fondant icing or a petite delicate woman has a black belt at Karate – whatever it is, it is a good topic for conversation.
10. Would you like to meet up again?
If you don’t ask you won’t know and if you are the sort of person who can’t bear to be left wondering whether they will call or not it might be better to come right out and say it.
Listening is just as much part of the art of conversation as talking so make sure you practice that too. Be prepared to answer any questions you use yourself as the chances are they will be turned back to you.
10 brilliant first date questions, 8.4 out of 10 based on 8 ratings
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