The 5 worst flirting mistakes you can make

Flirting is one way we let someone know we are interested in getting to know them better.  If we didn’t flirt we would have to rely on outright declarations of attraction to someone which could meet with humiliating rejection, something we all want to avoid. Flirting is also playful and isn’t confined to those we want to have a relationship with. It can be done anywhere and with anyone  – a bit of gentle banter with the postman or a cheeky wink to the girl who works in the supermarket can make someone’s day and make you both feel good. It is all good practice for when you are on dates but you need to be careful and avoid these common mistakes.

1.      Coming on too strong

Flirting can be a fun and playful way of connecting with someone and it is best when it is kept subtle. Being overtly sexual or making lewd suggestions when you have just met someone is likely to get you the opposite of what you want.

If someone gives you no indication that they are interested then back off rather than coming on even stronger. You don’t want the humiliating experience of being asked to leave them alone so learn to read other people’s body language and be responsive to it. Remember the most effective flirting tactic you can deploy is to smile into someone’s eyes – and mean it.

2.      Inciting jealousy

If someone has a partner with them, whether it is a long term partner or a casual date, do not flirt with them – they are taken even if only for that evening. It is bad form to step on someone else’s patch and flirt with their date while you are both at the bar – how would you feel if someone did it to you? You also might end up in a confrontation with an angry wife or an irate boyfriend so before your launch into your best charm routine make sure the object of your attention is not with anyone.

3.      Flirting at work

It happens all the time but there is a real danger that flirting at work can seriously backfire, especially if it is with your boss. Other colleagues may misinterpret it as you trying to use your sexuality to get a raise or promotion and will dislike you as a result. Worse still, if you are not sensitive to the STOP signs and carry on flirting with someone when your attention is not welcome then you might find yourself with a sexual harassment charge.

4.      Teasing

There is a fine line between flirting and giving someone the come on: one thing no-one likes is a tease. It is unfair to play with someone’s emotions and give them the impression that they are on to a good thing if you have no intention of following through. Light flirting can quickly become serious and more intense and you need to know when to back off if you don’t want the situation to get heavy. Playing with someone in this way could lead to you having to deal with their anger and frustration.

5.      Taking it too seriously

Flirting is fun. You will flirt and people will flirt with you, maybe the barman at the local always touches your hand when he gives you your change, or the woman at the gym always winks when she sees you. They may well be giving you the green light and if you are interested you may decide to pursue it a little further only to find that they do that with everyone. Not everyone who flirts with you will be interested in having a relationship with you and an essential part of engaging in the art is to not get too attached to everyone who flirts with you.

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